What You MUST Understand About Unwanted Pounds, Unwelcomed Body Fat & the Energy Thief After Trauma

“I know you won’t believe what I’m going to tell you … but you have to hear me out and help my wife!” my client announced to me with desperation.

“I promise you she eats healthy and works out more than anyone I know!” he persisted with convincing angst.

“We are together 24/7 since we are business owners, and I KNOW it’s true,” he stated … this time with the tone of a prosecuting attorney.

I nodded.

I’ve spent years in the world of trauma research and trauma healing. But before that, I spent a number of years in the health and wellness industry.

Recently, the two worlds have collided as I have watched what trauma does to the weight, health, energy, and lives of people who’ve experienced trauma.

“She’s so distressed by her appearance, I think she hates herself,” he commented … this time from a place of great sadness.

“It breaks my heart. She’s a treasure. I see her struggle, and I can hardly stand it!”

I leaned in and validated his love and concern for her.

I asked gently: “Has she experienced any trauma?”

He nodded with a bit of frustration as he redirected me, “This is about her weight. Her shame to go out in public. I’m losing her. Please hear me … I see her slipping away.”

I nodded again, with great compassion.

Then added, “I spent years in the wellness industry, helping people with lifestyle issues.”

He looked relieved … like I’d finally understood.

“I helped them get over their excuses, like: ‘It’s in my genes.’ Or ‘I just have big bones.’ But then I discovered that when used words like, ‘I’ve tried EVERYTHING’ … there was some truth to that.”

He nodded with hope.

“I finally found the common denominator to most of those situations.”

“Thank God!” he whispered in relief, clearly hoping for the magic pill to emerge.

I smiled, and said: “Trauma … unresolved trauma has taken their/her metabolism, their/her endocrine systems hostage …”

He furrowed his brow with curiosity…and confusion.

I continued: “It’s why I asked … has she experienced any trauma?”

“Years ago. But she’s good now … ” he responded.

With firm gentleness, I added, “She may be fine, but her body likely isn’t …”

He demanded more: “Is this like that thing where the body keeps the score?”

I acknowledged the book he’d obviously heard about … then added: “Yes, the body doesn’t just get over it, or grow out of it.”

He shook his head with sadness.

“But it can be resolved,” I assured him.

And to you, my friend who is reading this, I’d like to assure you also!

The science is in!

I could talk for hours about what the research says, but let me just start with a few facts:

There’s a 50% greater chance of obesity when someone has experienced trauma
70 to 80% of trauma survivors struggle with significant energy loss
55% of those who’ve experienced trauma have long-term struggles with weight gain and body fat that are out of proportion with their lifestyle habits (eating, exercise, etc.).

I explained to him, as I’d like to share with you … it’s not her fault.

AND … It’s a real struggle … But also a fixable, solvable problem.

1. It’s a valid problem … it’s real … and it’s not your fault.

“My wife would pay you $500 an hour just to hear you tell her that this isn’t her fault!” my client said with a twinkle in his eyes.

With a grin, I responded gleefully: “Well, we could certainly arrange that!”

We enjoyed a good laugh as I began to share with him what I wanted him to share with her.

I understood her need to hear that.

It’s a common need for both men and women to know … it’s not their fault.

I explained why the validation of those words “It’s not your fault” are so important.

“You see, trauma is NEVER our fault. Yet often, we are made to believe, or come to the conclusion, that it is/was our fault. We live with that.”

He nodded curiously.

“Then we end up with added weight and body fat … and society tends to look at us like we have no self-control.”

“Once again, something that we’ve tried to conquer, and feel like we are in a losing battle with … seems to be our fault.”

The redness in my client’s eyes showed me that he understood her pain around those issues.

I assured him that she was not alone.

One journal (The Obesity Review) stated that up to 50% of trauma survivors experience weight gain that simply will not come off with typical weight loss diets.

We now know that trauma fundamentally alters how the body processes stress, energy, and even the foods we eat … making what may have worked at one time to reduce weight or body fat practically ineffective.

Trauma causes the body and the brain to partner up (believe it or not) against us, that’s why coaching or therapy is often needed … to get us re-centered our innermost spirits.

It’s from there that we learn to sort through the noise and define whose influence is causing each craving moment.

Meaning, is it our brain, our body, or both at the same time.

The brain justifies, explains, builds excuses, etc.

The body demands and creates neuro pathways using each of the above.

That’s why pausing (yes that simple) is our door to change everything.

Simple pauses help us learn to listen for the sabotage; the voice of trauma that screams out in our brains. That voice that continues to control and influence our bodies.

Trauma, not you, created this toxic team effort.

Only by living out the spirit of surrender will life change.

Through new breakthroughs in neurobiological research, we now understand that trauma triggers profound biological shifts outside our control.

These shifts can lead to weight gain and higher body fat.

Which overrides good intentions.

And sometimes lifestyle plans that might be effective for others.

For example, trauma reconfigures our stress hormone secretion … sending rivers of cortisol flowing through our systems.

THAT alone totally disrupts our metabolism.

Not only that, but it promotes fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area (according to research published in Psychoneuroendocrinology).

Add to that, psychological factors like sleep challenges and cravings … and your body struggles to have any sense or ability to maintain healthy weight or body fat.

“That’s ALL physiologically based … certainly NOT HER FAULT!”

And not yours either!

This all sets your body into long term survival-based mode….

-Interrupting normal hormonal flow…

-Inflammation problems…

-Requiring massive amounts of energy…

-Leaving you EXHAUSTED!

“How soon can I get her in here to hear all of this?” her husband demanded.

“Very soon!” I assured him.

His urgency on her behalf informed me that this was the next series for my blogs from a long list of topics.

I hope this is not your struggle, but I can assure you that you likely know someone who’s very aware that this struggle is real!

Hopefully you’ll pass this along to them!

2. Typical dieting is not the answer and will not fix the problem.

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll love hearing that!” my client assured me about his wife.

“It’s so hard on her, because I do every diet with her. I lose weight … and she loses none, and sometimes gains weight.”

I nodded with compassion, because it’s a story I’ve heard many, many times.

Most weight loss plans are about counting, weighing, measuring, timing …

Many of these plans are accompanied with the workout routines of professional athletes …and has deprivation as the theme.

All struggle is connected to the partnership of brain and body.

Often leaving the real me/you/us looking or becoming or evolving into someone we were never intended to become.

Although most diet/exercise plans are not necessarily bad, they overlook or ignore the underlying biological and psychological impacts of trauma.

A 2019 meta-analysis in Obesity Reviews found that trauma survivors have much poorer outcomes with these diets, with success rates that are less than 20%.

All because trauma disrupts the body’s natural regulatory systems, making it practically impossible to follow restrictive plans.

This can really exacerbate feelings of failure which triggers more stress. Making the cycle more deeply ingrained.

Insuring more failure.

Insuring more weight challenges, and rising body fat.

It’s a crazy pattern of self-defeat.

Something no one with trauma needs or deserves!

But untangling the toxicity within our brain/body partnership changes everything.

That’s why bringing the trauma to the surface and sending it back to where it came from creates in us a power to untangle and live … free of cravings!

“Why doesn’t everyone know this?” my client demanded.

“Great question!” I responded.

It’s why I am writing this series.

There IS hope!

And no one who has experienced trauma deserves to live without the hope.

Or to continue the cycle of restrictive eating plans, only to fail again.

Reducing our hopes further!

Food should be something we do/enjoy…not a ‘should I or shouldn’t I?’ nightmare!

3. Take hope! There ARE solutions.

The good news is that understanding the science is empowering!

I promise not to bore you with detail and medical language that sends you to the medical dictionary online as I write over the coming weeks.

But the understanding of the physiological impacts of trauma shifts the narrative from “It’s all my fault” to recognizing trauma’s real and very measurable effects on our health and on our bodies.

If all that I’ve written resonates with you, I know something about you …

(Similar to the things Christopher Robbin said to Winnie the Pooh):

“You’re braver than you believe

Stronger than you seem

Smarter than you think

Loved more than you know!”

The fact that you are here is a testament to your resilience in surviving trauma.

Your struggle with weight and body fat is not a reflection on your efforts.

Or on your willpower.

Or on your worth.

“Promise me you will say those things to my wife,” my client almost begged in a pleading voice.

“I certainly will!” I assured him.

One piece of a healthy plan that will address weight gain, body fat issues, the energy thief, stress hormones flowing like Niagara Falls, and other health issues is … draining the swamp of shame.

The shame instigated by the trauma, fertilized by the pounds, and sky rocketed by the exhaustion.

So, your brain screams “I feel really tired”.

So, the body says, “A donut sounds great!”

And they team up anew repeating what you’ve done since that trauma … which created trauma in your body’s uniquely designed processes to function as they were created to function for a healthy life.

All resulting in us forgetting…

-How valuable we are.

-How precious we are.

-Stealing from our wonder and awe of life.

My hope is that in following along, we can get that all restored!

*****

“You can eat low-calorie all you like, you can starve your body, and exercise it like crazy, and not lose a single pound – all because of trauma-driven changes to our calorie-burning capacity. trauma-associated weight gain isn’t your fault. You’re doing nothing wrong. Your body is simply doing its best to deal with a difficult-to-digest life experience. That’s it, plain and simple – and the good news is, you can absolutely heal from trauma … it just takes some awareness, patience, good support, and some helpful, time-tested practices.” Marc David, MA

What You MUST Understand About Unwanted Pounds, Unwelcomed Body Fat & the Energy Thief After Trauma

“I know you won’t believe what I’m going to tell you … but you have to hear me out and help my wife!” my client announced to me with desperation.

“I promise you she eats healthy and works out more than anyone I know!” he persisted with convincing angst.

“We are together 24/7 since we are business owners, and I KNOW it’s true,” he stated … this time with the tone of a prosecuting attorney.

I nodded.

I’ve spent years in the world of trauma research and trauma healing. But before that, I spent a number of years in the health and wellness industry.

Recently, the two worlds have collided as I have watched what trauma does to the weight, health, energy, and lives of people who’ve experienced trauma.

“She’s so distressed by her appearance, I think she hates herself,” he commented … this time from a place of great sadness.

“It breaks my heart. She’s a treasure. I see her struggle, and I can hardly stand it!”

I leaned in and validated his love and concern for her.

I asked gently: “Has she experienced any trauma?”

He nodded with a bit of frustration as he redirected me, “This is about her weight. Her shame to go out in public. I’m losing her. Please hear me … I see her slipping away.”

I nodded again, with great compassion.

Then added, “I spent years in the wellness industry, helping people with lifestyle issues.”

He looked relieved … like I’d finally understood.

“I helped them get over their excuses, like: ‘It’s in my genes.’ Or ‘I just have big bones.’ But then I discovered that when used words like, ‘I’ve tried EVERYTHING’ … there was some truth to that.”

He nodded with hope.

“I finally found the common denominator to most of those situations.”

“Thank God!” he whispered in relief, clearly hoping for the magic pill to emerge.

I smiled, and said: “Trauma … unresolved trauma has taken their/her metabolism, their/her endocrine systems hostage …”

He furrowed his brow with curiosity…and confusion.

I continued: “It’s why I asked … has she experienced any trauma?”

“Years ago. But she’s good now … ” he responded.

With firm gentleness, I added, “She may be fine, but her body likely isn’t …”

He demanded more: “Is this like that thing where the body keeps the score?”

I acknowledged the book he’d obviously heard about … then added: “Yes, the body doesn’t just get over it, or grow out of it.”

He shook his head with sadness.

“But it can be resolved,” I assured him.

And to you, my friend who is reading this, I’d like to assure you also!

The science is in!

I could talk for hours about what the research says, but let me just start with a few facts:

There’s a 50% greater chance of obesity when someone has experienced trauma

70 to 80% of trauma survivors struggle with significant energy loss

55% of those who’ve experienced trauma have long-term struggles with weight gain and body fat that are out of proportion with their lifestyle habits (eating, exercise, etc.).

I explained to him, as I’d like to share with you … it’s not her fault.

AND … It’s a real struggle … But also a fixable, solvable problem.

1. It’s a valid problem … it’s real … and it’s not your fault.

“My wife would pay you $500 an hour just to hear you tell her that this isn’t her fault!” my client said with a twinkle in his eyes.

With a grin, I responded gleefully: “Well, we could certainly arrange that!”

We enjoyed a good laugh as I began to share with him what I wanted him to share with her.

I understood her need to hear that.

It’s a common need for both men and women to know … it’s not their fault.

I explained why the validation of those words “It’s not your fault” are so important.

“You see, trauma is NEVER our fault. Yet often, we are made to believe, or come to the conclusion, that it is/was our fault. We live with that.”

He nodded curiously.

“Then we end up with added weight and body fat … and society tends to look at us like we have no self-control.”

“Once again, something that we’ve tried to conquer, and feel like we are in a losing battle with … seems to be our fault.”

The redness in my client’s eyes showed me that he understood her pain around those issues.

I assured him that she was not alone.

One journal (The Obesity Review) stated that up to 50% of trauma survivors experience weight gain that simply will not come off with typical weight loss diets.

We now know that trauma fundamentally alters how the body processes stress, energy, and even the foods we eat … making what may have worked at one time to reduce weight or body fat practically ineffective.

Trauma causes the body and the brain to partner up (believe it or not) against us, that’s why coaching or therapy is often needed … to get us re-centered our innermost spirits.

It’s from there that we learn to sort through the noise and define whose influence is causing each craving moment.

Meaning, is it our brain, our body, or both at the same time.

The brain justifies, explains, builds excuses, etc.

The body demands and creates neuro pathways using each of the above.

That’s why pausing (yes that simple) is our door to change everything.

Simple pauses help us learn to listen for the sabotage; the voice of trauma that screams out in our brains. That voice that continues to control and influence our bodies.

Trauma, not you, created this toxic team effort.

Only by living out the spirit of surrender will life change.

Through new breakthroughs in neurobiological research, we now understand that trauma triggers profound biological shifts outside our control.

These shifts can lead to weight gain and higher body fat.

Which overrides good intentions.

And sometimes lifestyle plans that might be effective for others.

For example, trauma reconfigures our stress hormone secretion … sending rivers of cortisol flowing through our systems.

THAT alone totally disrupts our metabolism.

Not only that, but it promotes fat storage, particularly in the abdominal area (according to research published in Psychoneuroendocrinology).

Add to that, psychological factors like sleep challenges and cravings … and your body struggles to have any sense or ability to maintain healthy weight or body fat.

“That’s ALL physiologically based … certainly NOT HER FAULT!”

And not yours either!

This all sets your body into long term survival-based mode….

-Interrupting normal hormonal flow…

-Inflammation problems…

-Requiring massive amounts of energy…

-Leaving you EXHAUSTED!

“How soon can I get her in here to hear all of this?” her husband demanded.

“Very soon!” I assured him.

His urgency on her behalf informed me that this was the next series for my blogs from a long list of topics.

I hope this is not your struggle, but I can assure you that you likely know someone who’s very aware that this struggle is real!

Hopefully you’ll pass this along to them!