“I really want to be in your next Coach Training … because I need some serious bridge building or crossing or whatever it is. But what would I have to believe to get my *ss in gear to actually do it this time?”
I love this client. And I LOVE thought-provoking questions!
Since I knew his history, I knew the backstory. He had signed up for many of my programs, and resigned before the ink on his check was dry.
Too busy.
Too “touchy-feely” for him. (Whatever that meant!)
Too stuck in his comfort zone to venture out of his norm.
The truth was … he was too doubtful it would work for him. His wife had been transformed in programs. His coworker, who had become a certified coach in my program, had since passed him up on the corporate leadership ladder.
But something in him believed he was “too far gone.”
Because I knew that backstory, I teased him. “Well, let’s definitely not write any checks until we get that belief system straightened out!”
We both laughed!
Secretly, I was celebrating because he was approaching this differently than he ever had before. 
I know something about people who are interested in my programs.Their reluctance is usually not about the time it takes, the energy they require, or the financial investment.
Those may be used as excuses.
But I would say the core reason for the reluctance often has to do with issues surrounding WORTH.
Do I deserve to do this?
Will it work for ME?
Do I have what it takes?
I said to my client, “If I comped you into the training … which I WON’T!” (We both laughed!) “And I got you an extra week of paid vacation … and I could wave my magic wand and turn you into ‘not too far gone’ … what would you say?”
Immediately, he blurted out: “I’d say I’m ALL IN! But how do you know I’m not too far gone?”
There it was. The shame. I smiled and leaned toward him.
“After all the years of working with you and your family … don’t you think I’d know if you were too far gone? And if you were, don’t you think I’d be the first to tell you that?”
He howled! “Oh, I know that’s right! You never have trouble calling me out!”
Although I had only seen him occasionally for some years, I had been seeing the family over a seven-year period. I knew his history. And sadly, I knew his worth … even though he didn’t.
The first thing I did was recommend a book just released by a colleague and dear friend, Dr. Clay Arnold, titled Worth Restored: How to Break the Cycle, Take Back Your Worth, and Thrive. Click here to order the book.
Then we got down to what he would have to believe to “get his *ss in gear.”
I’m sharing those beliefs with YOU this week, because perhaps they’ll empower you to take the right next steps in your own life!
1. You would have to believe there is a SONG in you.
“Yea … I’ve been reading about that. And you know I can’t sing … the shower even dries up if I try to sing in there! But I definitely don’t want to die with whatever good might be in me still in there!”
I laughed! I’m not talking about whether you can carry a tune! I’m talking about that something inside you that is uniquely yours. Something you were created to bring into this world. Something that no one else can bring into the world in quite the way YOU can.
It might be a gift you’ve never recognized.
A dream you’ve dismissed.
A calling you’ve pushed aside.
Or a purpose that has been quietly waiting for you to believe it’s possible.
Perhaps life got so busy that you stopped listening for it.
Perhaps trauma, disappointment, or years of simply surviving convinced you there was nothing particularly special about what you had to offer.
But here’s what I want you to consider. What if the song is still there, even if you haven’t heard it in years?
What if the absence of evidence isn’t evidence of its absence?
What if you’ve been waiting to hear the music before you’re willing to believe there’s a song?
I reminded my client: “I KNOW there’s a song in you. But you must believe it. I don’t know what it is … I just know it’s in there. And if you don’t believe it’s in there, it certainly will not come forth!”
My friend, sometimes believing there’s a song is what gives you the courage to begin listening. And remember, the world doesn’t need you to sing someone else’s song. It needs the one that only YOU can sing.
2. You would have to believe there is MORE for you.
“I don’t need MORE pounds … but I need MORE of all the stuff you talk about. Certainly MORE ability to connect, MORE closeness with my wife and grown kids, and MORE ability to do something that matters.”
Now THAT was music to my ears!
Because MORE doesn’t necessarily mean more money, more possessions, more accomplishments, or more things to squeeze into an already crowded calendar.
Sometimes MORE means deeper relationships.
MORE peace.
MORE courage.
MORE connection.
MORE meaning in the life you’re already living.
Sometimes MORE means finally becoming comfortable in your own skin. Being able to look in the mirror without rehearsing every mistake you’ve ever made.
Sometimes it means waking up in the morning with a sense of purpose instead of another list of obligations.
And sometimes MORE means discovering that the experiences you thought disqualified you may have prepared you to make a difference in someone else’s life.
But here’s where so many people get stuck. They believe MORE exists. They see it happening in other people’s lives. They may even celebrate those people!
But deep inside, they’re not convinced MORE is possible for THEM.
I told my client: “And I believe that most of that is already in you. Perhaps it’s buried beneath shame, disappointment, and regret. But believing it’s in there is all you need to get started.”
“You don’t have to know exactly what it is or how to get to it.”
“If you KNEW there was a treasure chest of gold in your backyard, I bet you’d get your shovel out. But if you didn’t really know … you might just choose to watch sports … and maybe someday you’d dig.”
He laughed. “You know me too well … but if I KNEW there was treasure, I’d dig all night!”
“There are treasures in you, my friend!”
I wonder how many treasures have remained buried in our lives simply because we stopped believing they were there?
My client didn’t need someone to convince him that digging was worthwhile. He needed to believe there was something worth digging FOR.
And perhaps that’s true for you, too.
You don’t have to know exactly what your MORE looks like to begin believing it’s possible.
You simply have to believe that MORE is not reserved for everyone else.
That there is MORE for YOU.
3. You would have to believe that you are WORTH the investment.
Worth the investment of time.
Worth the investment of energy.
Worth the investment of finances.
“So you just have to blow all of my excuses out of the water?” he demanded as he smirked innocently.
I laughed. “Well, somebody has to!”
But then I got serious. “Let me ask you something. If your wife needed something that would make a significant difference in her life, would you find the time, energy, and money to help her get it?”
“Absolutely!”
“And if one of your kids needed it?”
“Without a doubt!”
“Then why is it so difficult to believe that YOU might be worth that same investment?”
He became very quiet.
Because that’s where the real work begins.
I’d like to ask you my friend, “How many times have you found the resources to do something important for someone you love?”
You’ve rearranged schedules.
You’ve sacrificed sleep.
You’ve made financial adjustments.
You’ve done whatever needed to be done.
I’m not asking you to change that. And I’m certainly not suggesting that you should spend money you don’t have, neglect your responsibilities, or make commitments that aren’t wise for your circumstances.
But I AM asking you to consider something.
When it comes to investing in yourself, are you making a thoughtful decision based on your circumstances? Or are you making a decision based on what you believe you’re WORTH?
Those are two very different things.
Sometimes “I don’t have time” really means “I’m afraid I’ll try and fail.”
Sometimes “I can’t afford it” means “I don’t trust myself to follow through.”
And sometimes “It’s just not for me” means “I don’t believe someone like me can really change.”
Not always. But sometimes that’s the case.
And if that’s what’s happening, no amount of extra time, extra money, or extra encouragement will solve the problem. Because the obstacle isn’t your calendar. It isn’t your bank account.
It’s the belief that YOU aren’t worth the investment.
And my friend, you ARE!
Not because of what you’ve accomplished.
Not because of what you’ve overcome.
Not because of what you might someday contribute to the world.
But because your worth was never supposed to be something you had to earn.
You don’t become worthy when you finish a program.
You don’t become worthy when you heal from your past.
You don’t become worthy when you finally get your act together.
You are worthy NOW.
And perhaps investing in yourself is not something you do AFTER you’ve proven your worth. Perhaps it’s something you do BECAUSE you finally believe in it.
So … What Would YOU Have to Believe?
Before my client left, I reminded him that he didn’t have to figure everything out that day. He didn’t have to know what his song sounded like. He didn’t have to know exactly what MORE would look like. And he certainly didn’t have to write a check!
But he did have something important to consider. Was he willing to challenge the belief that he was too far gone? Was he willing to believe there might still be something extraordinary inside him? And was he willing to treat himself as someone worth investing in?
Those are the questions I want to leave with YOU this week.
What would YOU have to believe … to take the next right step in your life? To believe that there is a SONG in you? To believe that there is MORE for you? To believe that you are WORTH the investment? Maybe all three.
Perhaps the most important question of all is this: What might become possible if you stopped waiting until you felt worthy and began believing you already are?
I recently created a FREE 17-minute video called Don’t Die With Your Song Still in You.
It’s a personal invitation to consider the MORE that may already be inside you, waiting to be discovered.
If something in today’s blog stirred your heart, I’d love for you to watch it.
WATCH MY FREE 17-MINUTE VIDEO: DON’T DIE WITH YOUR SONG STILL IN YOU
Because I don’t want you to reach the end of your life wondering what might have happened if you’d only believed there was MORE.
There IS a song in you.
There IS MORE for you.
And YOU are worth the investment.
With Love & “I Believe in YOU” Hugs,
Dr. Neecie 🩵