“I keep thinking about what you said in that session about the Blue Angels,” my client shared, clearly still remembering the moment.
I remembered I’d invited her to do an imagination / visualization exercise in a session, and her response was: “That’s just too much. And it won’t do any good!”
I’d shared with her to story of the Blue Angels.
It’s a story I love … but I thought it would be especially meaningful to her since her dad had been a pilot in the Navy.
I had walked her through how that they sat in a conference room with their eyes closed.
Their hands and bodies simulating all the moves.
As if they were in their aircraft.
Going through the entire routine.
As the lead pilot narrated the commands for the routine.
Since the brain cannot decipher the difference between doing it with vivid imagination in a chair in a conference room or doing it in the aircraft, it builds their confidence, precision, and distinct reflexes.
She mused: “If it’s not silly for the Blue Angels … why would it be silly for me? I’m ready to do the exercise now!”
Like so many who’ve experienced trauma, we’re often stuck in “playing it safe.” But only later to become miserable yet again.
Then to soothe ourselves … we stay warmly snuggled up in a recliner with some hot chocolate and potato chips.
Remote control in our hands.
Inside our self-medicated comfort zone.
Part of my goal in working with them is to inspire a quiet kind of courage to arise in their trauma recovery.
It comes with the capacity to imagine a life that feels…
Safe…
Whole…
Peaceful.
Even when their body has rarely, if ever, known that as a reality.
I often tell my clients that healing isn’t just about remembering and processing what happened. Yes, that’s important.
But it’s also learning how to picture life beyond it.
Because there is indeed life after trauma.
An abundant life.
Thriving!
Not just a life, but a compelling future.
Imagination, in this sense, is not just a way of escaping.
It’s neuroplasticity at work.
Literally rewiring the brain.
When we vividly imagine a different life, a compelling future
one where…
Safety…
Peace…
Joy…
And fulfillment exist …
That’s how the brain begins to lay down new wiring that makes that kind of life possible.
But it always takes you/me/us to intersect with and go toe to toe with those short-circuited synapses.
To take us where thoughts make connection and fix the miswired synapses.
And tell those synapses in an equally dramatic way (with an intensity level that overrules the intensity of the trauma that cause the short-circuits to happen in the first place).
That intensity rewires the synapses to fall in line with what we desire, instead of controlling our destiny from the wiring trauma left us with.
That’s why intense experiential visualization works.
Like my client, I understand it could be interpreted as “silly”.
But we must understand it was the intensity of the trauma-drama that caused that pain, that shame, that guilt that you now cloud your ability to navigate the life you desire.
Think about this. We scream and yell and get all hyped up for competitions and events (and I think that’s great) but how much more should we then, be willing to do intense things to claim our life BACK!
This kind of imagining is like a dress rehearsal of who and what we desire to become.
So that our confidence and determination are not only possible … but so powerful that they assist us in blazing a trail to make it happen!
Thank you, Blue Angels, for cracking the code on this long before science proved it to be true!
1. Imaging opens the door to reclaiming agency and breaking loose!
“You’ve no idea how sick and tired I am being stuck in this cycle of panic. I’ve been in it my whole life … and I’d do almost anything to break loose!”
my client said with disgust and determination.
“Does that mean you’re ready to do some vivid visualizing and inspiring imagining? And you’re not concerned with how silly you may think it feels or looks like?” I asked with a grin.
With an eye roll, she threw up both hands in a sign of surrender.
I understood how stuck she felt.
At the core of the fallout from trauma is an experience of profound helplessness.
Our nervous system loses any sense of choice.
That’s why we fill in the blanks, uncertainties, and boredom
with food, sex, booze, or drugs. (Or any other addiction of choice).
Our entire lives become organized around survival.
Then the body often remains loyal to old fears.
Loyal even long after the danger is gone.
“You must embrace that imagination reintroduces choice,”
I stated convincingly to my client.
“When anyone vividly visualizes or imagines a new possibility … even if only for 30 seconds … they’re sending a new message to the brain.”
I paused and leaned in a bit.
“And the new message is powerful and empowering. The theme of the message is: ‘I’m capable of and determined to create a compelling future. Trauma no longer holds me captive’!”
My client then asked with innocence, which notified me her defenses were dropping.
“I’m curious what changes will occur in my brain with the imagining?”
“Great question!” I affirmed and continued.
“There’s a part of our brain that’s responsible for reflecting on positive outcomes and a great future. It’s called the DMN (default mode network). Trauma disrupts this function in the brain. But when we do vivid visualizations, it flips the switch and turns the DMN back on.”
I could tell she was totally with me.
“Neuroimaging shows that the DMN is actually shattered after trauma … but the imagining and visualizing, begins to knit it back together!”
My client almost blurted this out: “This makes so much sense. No wonder I feel so stuck!”
“One more thing before we move on,” I commented.
“Our hippocampus is vital in this process as well. Part of its role is to decipher between ‘then and there’ and ‘here and now’. After trauma, its activity is dramatically reduced, making us feel like time is collapsed. Therefore, it feels like trauma is happening moment to moment.”
“When we do vivid visualization … it isn’t just comforting; it’s rewiring our hippocampus to experience time accurately again. Then when we imagine the possibility of a safe future, our brain literally starts separating the past from present. It’s a powerful rewiring!” I explained and continued.
“Not only that, but our neural pathways that formerly screamed ‘I’m powerless’ or ‘I’m stuck’ begin to fade as vivid visualizations open the pathways for empowering new inspired choices.”
“I need this. No matter what. I need this!” my client declared.
Likely you do too!
Think about trauma.
It was a moment that was dramatic.
It was a moment that was over the top.
It was out of control, stupid, full of drama, and oh so traumatic!
Why not do WHATEVER it takes to change it!?
No matter what it looks or feels like?
It was something that didn’t make sense that caused it.
It’ll be something that may not make much sense that heals you of it!
That’s why I do what I do.
But it takes surrender.
And surrender means stepping up … when all the old answers are screaming … vying for your trust and justifying to you why this won’t work.
But you must be willing to ignore them.
And trust that surrender will cause new answers to emerge.
Trust truly is the door to every freedom.
See it.
Believe it.
Be it.
AND…with everything you’ve got!
I tested her willingness as I often do but putting on some “SHAKE LOOSE” music and having her dance with me to it!
She resisted at first, but as she watched the video I had projected on to a wall … and turned the music up to vibrate in our bones … she was soon dancing with me!
Test yourself! (https://youtu.be/lLx8zqz1eqU?si=zWo6V5QTnmu8kk8x)
2. Our brains cannot decipher between real and vividly imagined experiences.
The Blue Angels realized that their practice run in the conference room, fully engaged in flying in their imagination rewired any and all doubt and fear … and made them excellent at their next performance.
“I hope you’ll give me some scientific back up for this. I think it’ll make my need to look ‘put together’ easier to overcome!” my client said in a pleading voice.
She was clearly still stuck in her need to control every moment of her existence to appear “okay.”
“I understand completely, and I think understanding the neuroscience behind this will break through the steely resolve to remain in close control… which is the result of your trauma.”
I validated and went on.
“One of the discoveries in neuropsychology that amazes me as a trauma specialist, is how vividly imagined experiences light up the brain in functional MRIs,” I informed her.
“Have you ever walked into a movie theatre and smelled fresh popcorn popping, and your mouth began watering?” I asked.
We both laughed and determined we were certainly among the suckers who couldn’t resist!
“Or that moment when you find tears welling up in your eyes when the underdog wins? Because we want those same kinds of wins in our lives?”
Her strong nodding told me that she “got it.”
“Well, those same things occur when we engage in vivid imagining. The exact same neural circuits activate in us as if we were (actually doing) those things we’re imagining.” I explained.
I could see this was resonating with her.
So, I gave her these additional pieces of neuropsychology.
Here are the parts of the brain that light up during vivid imagining: our visual cortex, motor cortex, amygdala, and insula (all parts of our emotional processing centers).
As a result, what we repeatedly imagine begins to feel real.
This begins to rewire how our bodies and our minds respond to things.
“Does that mean my body won’t respond to everything with panic?” my client asked with some desperation in her voice.
I assured her: “Yes, if you fully engage in the vivid imagination process, your body will no longer default to the emotional home of panic.”
“For many, trauma has trained our bodies to anticipate danger. Perhaps that was necessary for survival at one time, but imagining something different can be revolutionary. Your brain may have learned to predict negative outcomes (danger, trouble, disappointment, etc.) but vivid visualization can retrain your brain to predict peace, connection, and other great things.”
“The brain has often learned to predict…
fear,
isolation,
or rejection.
Visualization offers a way to introduce new predictions — ones rooted in calmness, connection, or fulfillment.”
I explained to her that when I began to understand all of this, I began to use visualization exercises where we imagine different outcomes and safe connection.
When we do that, our vagus nerve, our heart rate, and our breathing patterns begin to learn a new potential outcome.
We begin to gain a new emotional home.
I asked my client if she was ready.
Nervously, she nodded affirmatively.
I invited her to close her eyes.
I assured her I was not hypnotizing her.
That we would continue to talk as we had been.
That it was the most powerful way to do vivid visualization and imagining.
I encouraged her to imagine seeing a movie of a traumatic event she’d shared with me.
I assured her she had the remote control for the movie and could stop it any time she desired.
I asked her to share with me what she saw on the screen.
She described the moment when she realized she was lost in the train station, and the man told her he would help her find her parents.
I had her pause the movie.
I asked her to imagine that she (as she was in my office that day) could step into the movie, and step between her as a 5-year-old and the man.
I asked her if she could imagine herself kneeling in front of herself as a 5-year-old.
She nodded yes.
I instructed her: “Tell herself to the little girl (from her adult self). And to tell her that she knew how scared she was.”
“Assure her that you know better than anyone else on earth what that terror felt like. Then tell her she isn’t alone.”
I asked what she imagined the little girl doing?
In tears, she whispered,
“She jumped into my arms!”
I guided her: “Just hold her. Whisper to her that everything is going to be alright.”
After allowing her to experience that moment (knowing rewiring was occurring) I invited her to share with that little girl (out loud as if she were there) how her life was going to be by filling in the blanks I gave her.
“You’re going to grow up and be ______ (fill in the blanks with words about being calm, peaceful, fulfilled … the things you don’t have but you desire) …”
I gave her some space to do that.
“You’re going to have a life filled with ________”
“You’re going to feel ____________”
“Your relationships are going to be _____________”
As she filled in the blanks, I asked her to describe it to the 5-year-old in more detail.
Knowing that rewiring was occurring with every detail’s description.
At the end of the 30 minute interaction with her 5-year-old self, I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to say?
She said, “I want to tell her she can come with me, and I’ll do everything to make her life different.”
Softly, I suggested, “Say that to her … and tell me how she responds.”
After an extended emotional pause, she said, “She wants to know if she can come with me and if I’ll make sure she isn’t scared all the time.”
I whispered, “What would you like to tell her?”
“C’mon baby girl, let’s go!”
A very emotional experience.
A major rewiring had begun.
“Change your brain, change your life.”
Dr. Amen
3. Envisioning hope is powerful and immediate rewiring.
In my client’s next session, she opened with: “To be honest, I’d given up on hope,” my client shared. Then continued: “But after that exercise I think I can dare to dream it’s possible!?”
I smiled as my heart was warmed by her statement.
Then she added, “I didn’t really think I’d ever hope again.”
Does that resonate with you?
It’s very common with many survivors of trauma.
Settling for whatever is so deeply wired, hope seems suffocated.
Hope is often viewed as an emotion or a personality trait.
Something you either have or don’t.
Neuroscience paints a very different picture.
Hope is a process, a dance of synapses in the brain.
Imagining a compelling future, our dopamine system lights up.
Many people think that dopamine is just a “feel-good” hormone.
Few know that it’s the neurotransmitter that turns on motivation.
It turns on persistence.
It finds what’s good and tells our brain: “Go for that.”
After trauma, many survivors have lived with Niagara Falls deposits of stress hormones – cortisol and norepinephrine. It has kept our bodies in vigilance mode.
Vivid visualization of compelling possibilities begins to restore balance. Turning down the firehose of stress hormones.
And activating dopamine deposits.
It calms our nervous system, giving us a brief experience of regulation. The more we do it, the quicker it turns that experience into a new state of being.
Neuroplasticity is what we call the brain’s capacity to be rewired.
How do we turn it on turbo charge?
Well, it thrives on 3 things: repetition, emotion, and focus.
Vivid visualization and imagining offer all 3 of those on a steroid-like concentrated form.
Each time you imagine a compelling future…
A safe connection…
Something amazing occurring…
The natural emotional response of that experience binds our focus on it.
That focus, along with doing it often…deepens the new groove.
You can literally create new pathways of thought.
Over time, those neural connections grow stronger and stronger.
Gradually replacing survival-based responses with responses of…
Peace…
Trust…
Curiosity…
Fulfillment …
Even joy.
I reminded my client that the brain learns danger immediately.
But it learns safety slowly.
She asked with innocence, “Is that a sign of me being weak?”
I assured her that it had nothing to do with weakness.
“Sadly, fear and danger scream at deafening volumes, but peace, joy, calm all whisper. All of that danger was born in the rage of our trauma-drama. No such thing as peaceful rage.”
She nodded with acceptance.
I added: “We must learn to listen for the whisper. Visualization provides the volume control we need to focus on the whispers. The more vividly you imagine the things we did in that exercise, feeling them, hearing what was said … the peace, contentment, belonging, fulfillment all become what we hear, what we feel, what we live!”
Remember, hope is not naive optimism. It’s a discipline of practicing vivid visualization and inspiring imaginings.
Each hopeful image is a powerful moment that convinces the brain that safety, connection, fulfillment, peace, and joy are all learnable, not just foolish wonderings.
*****
Each time I do an exercise with clients using vivid visualizations or inspiring imaginings, I picture it as a bridge between what has been and what might be in their lives.
Trauma burns those bridges.
Visualization gently rebuilds them, board by board.
What begins as a picture in their minds becomes a new posture in their body.
And then becomes a wonderful new pattern in their daily lives.
They begin as doubters, often feeling helpless and powerless. But as we work together…in vivid visualization and inspiring imagining, their wings begin to grow strong.
Eventually, this leaves them soaring with new wind beneath their wings.
They’re truly Blue Angels … ready with the courage and determination to fly lives that’re truly courageous, confident, and connected!
As the ancient Proverb declares, “As a person thinks, so are they.”
Let’s do this!