“Assure me again that this ‘brain surgery’ to move me from my fixed mindset that got me into this mess with an extra 50 pounds, a failing business, and a failed marriage is going to work,” my client almost demanded with a pleading tone in his voice.
The fact that he’d returned and was taking ownership of his fixed mindset was enough to give me confidence in assuring him we could do this!
I assured him with a bit of teasing.
“Absolutely! And the brain surgery is noninvasive … although you might consider that to be easier!”
(We ALL have an internal dialogue running 24-7 that dictates back to us our mindset. The goal? Change your mindset and you change that dialogue and when that happens you change how you react to everything.)
ANYONE who’s willing to acknowledge that they have a fixed mindset … and embrace a desire to advance toward a growth mindset … is not only wise, but they also have an excellent prognosis for making the journey successfully.
The transition from a fixed to a growth mindset isn’t about willpower.
The move is more about laying down conditions that allow new perceptions to take root.
In other words, if you’re wanting to grow a beautiful hibiscus plant, you wouldn’t just take it out of the pot and lay it on top of gravel.
You would dig a hole, and fill it with rich soil.
In addition, we don’t just wake up one morning with a growth mindset.
Just as we wouldn’t expect to come out the next morning to a hibiscus plant in full bloom.
The brain needs a safe space.
Ready to reorganize itself…
Around a very different paradigm.
Ready to learn…
Grow…
And embrace possibilities.
Remember as you read this, we are talking YOUR brain.
So, if this feels good as you process what you’re reading, that’s your brain sensing what you desire.
It’s that simple.
It’s that complex.
And … it really does work … if you believe and work it.
Research from psychological and neuroscience studies reveal that our beliefs about our ability to change affect how our brain functions when challenged.
Yes, this transition is definitely challenging.
The research reveals that people with growth mindsets show:
· Increased neural engagement after mistakes
· Increased willingness to persist
· Increased neural activity related to learning
In order to cultivate and move to that growth mindset, we must prepare our mental environment much like we’d prepare soil before planting a flowering bush and watching it come to full bloom.
That’s why I worked with my client and am writing to you about how to prepare for the transition.
We must clear away distractions, things that are detours … and begin feeding our brains things that nurture it … in order to assure growth in the right direction.
As I shared that with my client, he said timidly: “I hope you can tell me what that means. I hear you, and I know I have stuff to do. But I have no idea what that stuff is …”
“I get it,” I assured him. “Most of us aren’t even aware of a fixed mindset, but we certainly don’t know what to do about it. I do …”
I paused to let him take that in.
“I will be very clear about how to get you started. But you can’t just hear this (or just read this) and expect you’ll have anything but a dead plant in your garden!”
He grinned.
Not sure if he should’ve or not.
But I got it … that he “got it.”
I added: “And what I lay out will be counterintuitive to you. Because you have to come toe to toe with your demons that have ruled your thinking for years!”
He looked a bit like I had just said the most daunting thing he’d ever heard.
Searching for and finding truth, takes surrender.
And surrender (at its core) means letting go of how we always process and trusting that pausing our processing to “new desires of how we want to think” create new neuro pathways.
That process creates in our thoughts the desires for a growth mindset.
You have power over your brain.
But unmanaged, your brain has power over you.
You desire to change, and that desire will change you!
That’s how a growth mindset takes up residence in you.
It’s that simple.
It’s that complex.
It works if we work it.
I hope you’ll have the same courage my client did …
To stay the course …
Make the transition!
Here are 3 evidence-informed strategies to begin that process.
1. Fast watching or listening to ALL news for 30 days.
“You do believe in miracles!” my client snapped.
I gave him “the look” and he reeled it back in.
Honestly, I expected it … because I get similar responses from most people, I give this directive to.
“I’m serious about this. But I want you to understand it. It’s not just some kind of ‘random torture’!”
You might also find it appalling.
But there’s science behind it.
News media researchers confirm that news platforms don’t just report events—they must engineer every report for engagement.
They avidly study our brain and behavioral patterns.
You/me/us are being groomed to be mastered by an algorithm.
Research revealed that anger, fear, and outrage hold our attention much longer than calm or positive reports.
They admittedly use these emotional “hooks” to activate our brain’s dopamine and cortisol systems.
Why?
So that (like good robots) we’ll keep…
Scrolling…
Refreshing…
Reacting.
It’s not a conspiracy.
It’s just the way they maintain their profitability.
And it feeds into a fixed mindset.
Training our brains to stay in vigilance mode.
Which naturally rejects any growth.
It’s no secret at all that most news-media-cycles thrive on alert, drama, and outrage.
Studies from the American Psychological Association (APA) indicate that constant exposure to negative news has these impacts on us:
· Increased flow of stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline, norepinephrine, etc.)
· Elevated feelings of helplessness
· Distracts/derails our ability to focus
· Keeps our brain’s fear center (the amygdala) oversensitive, overactive, and hair triggerable
When our amygdala is overactivated, it severely reduces activity in the prefrontal cortex (PFC).
Why is that important?
Because it’s our PFC that switches on our higher thinking, creative decision-making, and emotional regulation.
OR … the “exact things” that are foundational to a growth mindset.
(Is changing your life worth a month off Facebook or giving up the remote control? If we take charge of our brain, it will partner with our desire to embrace a growth mindset … “As a person thinks so are they!”)
By taking a 30-day break from watching and listening to news, you’re not “checking out” of the world; you’re giving your nervous system a reset.
Essentially, preparing that hole and adding nutritional rich soil/nutrients, to make the transition, to a growth mindset … successful.
During this break, it also invites your default mode network (DMN) to come back to life.
That’s where our reflection and day dreaming takes place in our brain.
That’s where/how/when taking every thought captive activates itself.
That downtime is crucial for forming new insights and fostering creative solutions—building blocks of growth-oriented thinking.
“Okay! Okay! I’m willing to do that. I even feel a bit like a pawn that’s been sucked in and suckered!” my client committed.
I suggested, “Be reassured that I’m not advocating that you become ignorant about the world. But I am suggesting you give yourself 15 minutes a day to read the headlines of the news from your preferred news network.”
I added, “Removing the sounds (bells, tones, other clanging) and the flashing lights used to captivate you … will have a significantly diminished effect on your brain.”
He nodded with a determined compliance as I continued.
“Research has found that within 10 days to 2-weeks, most people notice a great improvement in their ability to focus, a greater sense of calm, clearer thinking, and greater cognitive flexibility. These are all important hallmarks of a growth mindset.”
“Well, I need ALL of that,” my client commented.
If you’re honest, I feel sure you would agree.
Let’s do a 30-day news fast.
I’m on about 12 years of only consuming news in writing, and limiting the time I spend on that!
We can NEVER grow a growth mindset by giving in to what is vying for control of your brain.
2. Watch 2-3 personal growth video’s and journal a personal take away.
“Actually, I watch some of that stuff,” my client commented.
I asked him for examples … and he said something similar to what most people say.
“Oh … some of those reels about working out by Goggins, or some of those shorts by the guru’s like Simon Sinek,” he said (with a look of trepidation).
I chuckled and said: “Those are all good. But I’m not talking about shorts and reels. I’m talking about professionals giving solid information. Nothing less than 20 minutes.”
“I want you to understand why this is important,” I informed him.
Most people with a fixed mindset:
· Prefer shorts or reels
· Listen to, read, or watch less personal growth information than those with a growth mindset
· Listen for data
· Fail to make personal application
· Remember little, if any, of the things that could be of great benefit to them
“So, I want to set this up in a manner to not just be something you check off the list!”
I shared with him that we know from Dr. Albert Bandura’s work that this type of learning that I set up for him would be a way of preparing the fertile soil in his brain for a growth mindset.
A quiet brain is a fertile brain.
Dr. Bandura’s work showed that when we actively watch others teach about success (or share stories of their own success) it activates our brain’s mirror neuron system.
That system then stimulates that part of our brain to learn vicariously.
This literally makes changes in our neurobiology!
But the real transformation happens as we integrate what we’re learning in a conscious and intentional way.
Research in cognitive psychology shows that writing reflections strengthens our hippocampal encoding (which is our memory consolidation).
It also boosts activity in our dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.
That’s the region that stimulates complex thought…
Evaluation…
Forms insights.
That’s why journaling a personal takeaway is important.
Writing about a personal takeaway transforms passive consumption into active reprogramming of attitude and willpower.
“Here’s what I want you to do immediately after watching or listening. Answer the following questions (in writing … not in your head)” I informed him.
“Like hand writing?” he whined.
“Yes!”
I explained, “There’s something about using your hand that activates more of your brain centers. The Scientific American reported how typing lit up very little brain activity.”
He nodded.
Here are the questions I gave him and would love to have you DO THEM too!
-Not just think about them.
-Not type your responses.
-Actually, write them.
Here are the questions:
· What did I most need to hear?
· If I actually took it in, and did something about it, what would I do?
· What difference would it make in my life?
· How would this improve my relationships?
· How would my family benefit?
I clarified. “I’m not asking you to take any action yet. I’m just inviting you to be reflective and to strongly consider the ‘one thing’.”
He seemed relieved for a moment.
Then I challenged him: “One takeaway will begin your journey. But if you want to jumpstart your transition on steroids … watch 3 and do 3 take aways from each.”
His sigh spoke for him.
But I didn’t break my firm stare.
Then, he confessed, “I know I just need to do this if I’m serious about this mindset thing!”
I hope you equally as serious as he was!
BECAUSE … nothing changes IF nothing changes.
3. Chart negativity (negative thoughts, negative talk, any negative input).
Let’s get honest here.
You may not like or agree with what I say.
But I promise you, I’ll always shoot straight with you.
Many “feel good” professionals in my field say that a fixed mindset isn’t better or worse than a growth mindset.
My response:
-WHAT!?!?!
-REALLY!?!?!
-SERIOUSLY!?!?!
I would never say it’s okay to stay stuck in a place that keeps you from becoming your best version of you!
I’d still love you and accept you.
But I’ll never stop encouraging you to reconsider and stop “settling!”
And I will never tell you the journey is easy.
But it’s worth it!
And YOU are worth it.
So … let’s look at the truth.
People on the fixed side of the spectrum have more of bents toward negativity.
It’s not a preference or a choice … it just goes along with what goes on in the brain activity when you have a fixed mindset.
So, to prep for the transition, you must become aware of your negativity.
Let me say that again: you MUST become aware of your negativity.
Let me reinforce it again!
YOU MUST BECOME AWARE OF YOUR NEGATIVITY.
It’s your “norm.”
Unless you’re a person who has 100% growth mindset, you have some “negativity.”
(The further toward fixed mindset you scored, the more “negativity” you’ll have … and that seems “normal” to you).
This is NOT about judgement.
It’s about insight.
Just as “your current location” on GPS is required to find the fastest, easiest route to your destination … you must have an accurate “read” on your negativity.
Why?
To design the fastest…
easiest route…
to a growth mindset.
This may seem silly.
But not as silly as staying “stuck” in a fixed mindset.
Here’s the instructions for this next week:
· Choose at least 3 days.
· Select 5 one-hour time periods in each of those 3 days.
· Take a pause at the end of the hour … and use a ticker counter (you know … four vertical lines then draw a diagonal line through all of them for the fifth), to track every negative thought, every negative thing you spoke, and every negative thing you “took in” during that hour
· Make some notes about what kinds of negative thoughts you had
· Also note any negative input (conversations, things you saw on TV or social media, etc.)
“Well, I’d better buy a 500-page journal!” my client moaned.
However, he admitted he knew he needed it.
So do YOU, my friend!
I like to call this a “mindfulness-meets-science” exercise that every one of us could benefit from.
Research from Dr. John Teasdale at the University of Cambridge found that noticing our negative thoughts without judgment, significantly reduces their unstoppable looping.
Other research from the National Science Foundation reveals that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts every day.
And about 70–80% of them are negative.
Most of these thoughts run on autopilot,
reinforcing neuronal loops.
Why are we concerned about these loops?
Because the research finds them strongly linked to self-criticism and fear of failure. If we think that … we’ll create that.
By charting your negativity, you create a record of your internal patterns.
Neuroimaging research shows that this act of labeling emotions or thoughts reduces activity in the amygdala and increases activity in the prefrontal cortex.
This activity is very congruent with a growth mindset, and actually enhances regulation, creativity, insight, and reflection.
May I encourage you to DO THIS!
It not only prepares your brain for the transition … but it actually BEGINS the transition … just doing this exercise!
Your brain.
My brain.
Our brains will partner with the thoughts we require our brains to create, be, become.
Let’s do this … TOGETHER!
(I’ll do this exercise with you. I repeat it at least once a quarter).
*****
Transitioning from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset isn’t some sort of motivational “rah-rah”.
It’s a gradual journey of rewiring our neural networks and recalibrating our emotions.
By reducing negative and fear-based inputs that dominate our brains …
By feeding the mind new input…
That are filled with growth possibilities and inspiration …
Then conducting insightful analysis of your thought patterns …
You’re priming your brain for transition.
A journey toward a growth mindset (or more growth mindset) begins long before we “feel” like it.
It begins when we intentionally create a “nutrient rich” environment.
Where growth isn’t only possible.
But will come to full bloom.
I’d like to invite you to give yourself permission to press pause.
-Silence the noise internally and externally.
-Listen to some new voices.
-Take charge of your brain.
But, with no judgement just compassion.
Our goal here is not to force transformation.
Instead, we’re creating the conditions for your brain to remember what it was designed to do in the first place … TO GROW.
You/me/us have the power to become our best self, by simply changing the way we think, by thinking what we need to think to become all we were created to be.
Yes, it’s hard to change decades of the way you/me/we have been thinking.
But it’s as Tony Robbins has said, “If you negotiate with your brain, you’re no longer in control of managing your life.”
Let’s do this!