“I want to do the whole ‘BRIDGE thing’ you’ve been talking about. But I have some challenges. First of all, I don’t have a clue what my purpose is. I don’t have the passion you have. And I guess I’m looking for permission to do something different!”
Oh, how I LOVE receiving messages like this!
First of all, it tells me that something I’ve been sharing is resonating.
But even more than that, I love the way she communicated. She told me what she wanted. She told me what she thought was standing in her way.
And then she told me what she really needed.
Permission.
Permission to want something different.
Permission to believe there might be more.
Permission to begin moving toward a life she couldn’t quite describe yet.
And I thought, Oh, you’re my kind of human! Because that’s exactly where transformation begins. Not with having all the answers. But with being willing to ask a different question.
What if I don’t know my purpose? She was concerned because she didn’t know her purpose. And somehow, she’d gotten the impression that knowing her purpose was a prerequisite for stepping onto the BRIDGE.
I understood totally.
After all, if you believe there are prerequisites, why would you show up without them? But here’s what I let her know … and I want YOU to know.
You don’t have to know your purpose to begin discovering it. And you don’t have to know where the journey will take you to take the first step.
Thankfully, you certainly don’t have to have a life that’s already working beautifully. If you did, many people would never qualify for the BRIDGE.
I know I wouldn’t have when I needed it most!
In fact, the BRIDGE is for people whose lives are a mess, people whose lives are missing something, AND people whose lives are massively successful.
Because no matter what your circumstances look like on the outside, you can still find yourself wondering …
Is this all there is?
Is there something more?
What am I here for?
And perhaps most importantly … Am I allowed to want something different?
When I began the journey that eventually led me to building bridges, I thought I was just supposed to be grateful for what I DID have. And somehow, that wanting more was almost like a “sin” of sorts.
Now I know that wanting something different is often a sign that there’s a song stuffed down inside us, longing to be sung!
What if I don’t have the passion?
She also told me she didn’t have the passion she saw in me. That made me smile. Because passion isn’t always something you discover BEFORE you begin. Sometimes it awakens along the way.
Sometimes it’s been buried under years of responsibilities, disappointments, expectations, and simply trying to get through another day.
And sometimes you don’t even recognize it because you’ve been so busy doing what you HAD to do … that you’ve forgotten what you LOVE to do. But that doesn’t mean it’s gone. It may simply be waiting for you to make room for it again.
But what IS the BRIDGE?
Then she asked me something I thought was especially important. “To be honest, I don’t even know what the BRIDGE is. I know it’s about finding more. It’s about singing a song. It’s about living with purpose. But is it a concept? Is it a program? Is it a lifestyle? And how great does my life have to be to get there?”
I LOVE that question! The BRIDGE is a means of getting from where you are now to where you would LOVE to be. It’s about finding MORE LIFE in your LIFE!
And it’s brought to life through transformational experiences in workshops, trainings, cohorts, and groups.
But the most important thing I wanted her to understand … and I want that for YOU, too … is this: You don’t have to become someone or something else to begin. You get to begin as YOU.
Who you are is enough! Right where you are.
And if you’re wondering whether you’re ready, I have some good news.
There are only three prerequisites.
1. COME AS YOU ARE.
Your life doesn’t have to be in any particular condition.
If it had to be perfectly in order, or even just “good,” I would never have been able to step one foot onto the BRIDGE.
And if you’re wondering whether I really mean that, let me take you back to a season when I desperately needed someone to say those words to me.
Come as you are.
I had been on the road traveling and singing all over the country with a music, sign language, and drama team. We were returning to the Bible College we were sponsored by at the end of a summer tour that had taken us to Florida, Maine, Alaska, Hawaii, and every state in between.
After unloading all the sound equipment and luggage from our van, I saw my husband (at the time) pull away in my car. I never saw him again.
Divorce was unacceptable in that environment. So suddenly, I was wearing what felt like a Scarlet D.
I lost my job as Dean of Women, which also came with my living quarters.
And just like that, I was homeless.
I called my sister, who rallied my family to bring me some old furniture, a few pots and pans, and a beat-up old Suburban with 200,000 miles on it.
The next day, I got a job waitressing. My eyes were so swollen and burning from crying that I could barely write down orders.
Although I wasn’t using the BRIDGE analogy in those days, I knew one thing. I didn’t think I was BRIDGE material.
Not a homeless girl with a Scarlet D!
I longed to know I could “come as I was.” But I thought I was a disgusting failure. And somewhere in that pain, I made a vow. I would do something with my life that might spare another human being from ever feeling the way I felt.
Little did I know … I was PERFECT BRIDGE material! And so were the owners of that beautiful boutique steakhouse where I waited tables.
They were successful business owners. I was a waitress who had lost almost everything.
Our lives looked very different on the outside. But the BRIDGE isn’t reserved for people at one end of the success spectrum or the other.
It’s for people who want MORE LIFE in their LIFE!
You don’t have to fix everything before you show up.
You simply have to show up.
You and your life are welcome … just as you are!
2. SHOW UP WITH A DESIRE FOR MORE.
You don’t have to know your purpose. You don’t have to be overflowing with passion. You don’t even have to know what MORE looks like for you yet.
You just have to be willing to consider that what you’ve experienced so far may not be all that’s available to you.
That there may be more joy.
More meaning.
More connection.
More fulfillment.
More LIFE in your LIFE!
After that awful summer, I knew I wanted more. But I had always wanted to help people, and the only way I knew to do that was through ministry.
And in the world I came from, you couldn’t be a minister with a Scarlet D. I wanted to help people even MORE than before. But I couldn’t see an avenue for doing that.
Then one Sunday, I wandered into a small church in Rockwall, Texas.
I’d heard that they weren’t judgmental and that everyone was welcome.
So I slipped into the back.
They began singing an Andraé Crouch song about a God who came not to condemn, but to mend broken hearts and give people abundant life.
And the title of the message that morning? “More Abundantly.”
Can you imagine what that meant to a young woman who had just lost nearly everything? And had worked til 1 am at a restaurant the night before?
That day …
Broken.
Homeless.
And wearing my Scarlet D …
My BRIDGE-building journey began!
I hope you, too, will be willing to step onto the BRIDGE.
Just as you are.
3. STEP IN WITH A WILLINGNESS TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
You know the old saying … If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
Well, here in Texas, I like to encourage people to learn a little three-step dance!
STEP UP — to the plate.
STEP OUT — of what you’ve always done.
STEP OVER — the obstacles and challenges that have kept you where you are.
Because transformation rarely happens while we’re standing still. And sometimes the most important step is simply deciding we’re willing to take one.
Remember that little church I wandered into? After deciding I’d never set foot in a church again, walking through those doors was the only next step I could think of.
And after believing I’d never be in ministry again, little did I know I’d eventually be leading a group called Singles Again at that very church. For people just like me. People who needed a place for a fresh start.
And many of the healing exercises I eventually developed for the BRIDGE originated in that group!
To be honest, what God grew in me through that season includes things I might never have embraced had I not experienced what I believed were the worst days of my life.
I don’t believe God caused ANY of those bad things. But I DO believe He grew good things in me despite them. And perhaps, in some ways, because of what I learned through them.
Here’s what I know: Taking the best step you know today may lead you to the very steps that transform your life tomorrow.
*****
So, do you have permission?
Let me answer that question for you.
YES!
You have permission to want something different.
You have permission to discover who you are beyond what you’ve been through.
You have permission to explore a purpose you haven’t yet identified.
You have permission to rediscover passion that may have been buried for years.
And you have permission to begin before you have it all figured out.
But here’s the truth … You don’t need MY permission. May I invite you to give that permission to yourself? Because I believe there’s something wonderful waiting to be discovered in you.
And that’s exactly why I’m creating a very special transformational experience called …
CREATED FOR MORE!
It’s a one-day LIVE experience we’re preparing for Saturday, January 30, 2027.
Not a day of sitting and listening to someone tell you how to live your life.
A day of discovering, experiencing, reclaiming, and beginning to step into the person you were created to be.
You don’t have to arrive knowing your purpose.
You don’t have to arrive overflowing with passion.
And you certainly don’t have to arrive with your life all figured out.
Come as you are.
Bring your desire for MORE.
And be willing to discover what might already be waiting inside you.
I’ll be sharing more about CREATED FOR MORE soon. But for now, I want you to remember this: You don’t have to know where the BRIDGE leads to be willing to take the first step.
And perhaps the very things you need to begin aren’t somewhere out there …
Perhaps they’re already inside you.
With love and permission-to-begin hugs!
Dr. Neecie