“Will I ever get totally free of trauma? Seems like I get one thing handled
and something else pops up … Like I’m playing whack-a-mole with trauma,” my client asked with urgency.
I could see he was weary.
I assured him. “I’ve found that when people address 3 critical areas of life that trauma hijacks, the rest seems to fall into place.”
“Well, that’s relieving.
We’ve handled my marriage and my crazy beliefs …
so, let’s get the third one done!” he replied with visible relief.
Trauma doesn’t just change a part of our story.
It changes how everything in us works.
(We all start life in a state of wonder and curiosity.
We all have no choice … if those traits will be championed or not.
Leaving us all with the dilemma: do we settle or work to change?)
Trauma can hijack our energy…
distort our thoughts…
and disrupt any ability to connect with…
(even more so to love) others.
Trauma isn’t just a story hiding in our memory …
it’s a full‑body reprogramming.
The nervous system gets foggy about
what safety felt like before the rupture
and learns to expect danger.
Months, years, decades after it’s gone.
Scientific consensus is clear:
trauma touches nearly every major system in the body and brain.
· Harvard’s Stress and Resilience Institute (2023) found that trauma survivors show heightened cortisol and altered brain‑wave patterns months or even years after the event.
· A review conducted by Yale in 2022 found that chronic trauma exposure changes how the gut, heart, and immune system function. All of this leads to fatigue and inflammation.
· Research done by the Trauma Research Foundation in 2023 revealed that unresolved trauma affects not only our mood and focus, but also how we perceive love, safety, and belonging.
Healing, then, can’t just be emotional work …
it must address our entire system.
Here are the 3 central areas trauma alters, that every healing journey should address:
-Our body/health/energy
-Our mind/brain
-Our relationships
(From my friend in AA. “It’s hard to fathom that because of my
past hurts which I medicated. It was like my body and brain
teamed up against me.
They kept me from my heart.
That’s why to heal, I had to reach into my spirit,
void of my body and brain’s influence.
And let go of all control … listening and watching for
every opportunity to be present, without medicating
to do so. That is my path to healing.”)
I hope you will address all 3 of these areas.
This week, I am providing the information and
resources for complete healing!
1. Health and Energy: Rebuilding the Body’s Foundation
When people tell me they’re “tired all the time” after trauma … that’s not weakness. It’s biology.
Trauma dysregulates the autonomic nervous system.
The body stays partially braced,
even when there’s no apparent reason for it.
Cortisol and adrenaline surge longer than needed,
stealing energy from digestion, immunity, and repair.
What does that look like over time?
Unwanted pounds
Unwelcomed body fat
Battle with the energy thief
· The National Institutes of Health said in a 2022 report that trauma survivors have a 30–50% higher risk of chronic fatigue, IBS, fibromyalgia, and autoimmune disorders.
· A study conducted in 2021, published in Frontiers in Neuroscience linked post‑traumatic stress to disruption of the gut–brain axis. What is that? … The foundation of our digestion, moods, and immunity. All are compromised by the overproduction of stress hormones.
· In the 2020 Harvard Mind‑Body Study, trauma was associated with a significant decline in mitochondrial energy output. What does that mean? Our body’s batteries drain faster and recharge much more slowly.
· A study done in 2019 by the Harvard School of Public Health found that adults with a history of trauma showed a 37% higher likelihood of significant weight gain over ten years, largely due to chronic cortisol elevation that disrupts our metabolism and jacks up fat storage. Researchers have concluded that unresolved trauma keeps the body in a low‑grade fight‑or‑flight state, which slows down our digestion and increases our belly fat accumulation, even if calories stay the same or are reduced.
What does it look like in day-to-day life?
Brain fog
Wandering concentration
Belly bloating
Erratic sleep
Living in a place that feels like “wired‑but‑tired”.
When the body stabilizes, clarity returns.
-But you can’t just think your way out of trauma fatigue.
-Or wish your way out of trauma pounds.
-Or pray your way out of trauma fat.
Years ago, I wrote a book entitled:
What’s A Nice Person Like Me Doing In A Body Like This?
From research at the time,
I helped people recover from
many physical ailments with a lifestyle plan
that was powerful, but doable.
(I mean who wants to think they can never eat Blue Bell again … or your favorite dessert)!
I’m in the process of updating the research
and releasing the updated version with more focus on
what trauma does to our bodies.
If you’re interested in that lifestyle plan,
you may get the link to a workshop
(and workbook for) the content in the book, by clicking here:
https://bit.ly/GetRidOfUnwantedPounds
I’ll let you know when the book is released.
It’s all about kicking those unwanted pounds too the curb,
defying that unwelcomed body fat,
and reclaiming your energy from the energy thief!
2. Wiring, Thoughts, and Beliefs: Reclaiming Your Mind
Trauma doesn’t just hurt feelings.
It brands beliefs on our brain.
Question for you …
Who’s running your life?
You?
Or…yesterday?
Trauma imprints the brain with toxic ideas like:
-“I’m unsafe”
-“I’m not enough”
-“It’s safer not to feel”
These are not just emotional reactions —
they’re neural patterns.
Etched in stone.
But the good news is … we can grind them out!
When trauma happens…
-Our amygdala (our fear alarm center)
goes on high alert.
-Our hippocampus (that files away memories)
shuts down.
-Our prefrontal cortex (where our strategic reasoning occurs)
goes on strike.
That’s why even when life improves,
our brains continue to scan for danger.
· The University of California at San Diego found in 2022 that trauma increases our amygdala activity while reducing prefrontal regulation. This process reinforces fear‑based thinking on auto loop.
· A study at Columbia University in 2021 revealed that people with trauma histories are twice as likely to hold negative messages toward themselves. Like:
“I don’t deserve good things”
“I deserve what happened to me”
“Nothing good ever happens to me”
· Great news published in the Nature Human Behaviour in 2023 reported that intentional cognitive reappraisal (learning to reframe our thoughts) literally reverses these networks within eight weeks.
This rewiring requires DOING the …
rewiring exercises …
healing exercises …
repetition and monitoring our thoughts.
This can be done through …
Journaling …
breathing exercises …
neuro‑feedback …
trauma‑informed coaching.
You had nothing do with many,
if not all, the complexities
that vie for your emotional state.
Beliefs created in survival are not your truths.
They’re trauma’s lies.
Healing means writing new stories,
programming new beliefs.
You can’t wait until you “feel ready” for these new thoughts.
You must practice them until your brain believes them.
Your trauma taught your brain the negative you can’t stand.
It’s your turn to teach your brain how to get the life you long for …
and the state of mind you desire to live in.
I’m doing one of my healing exercises online soon. Click here if you’d like to join me, send me an email at DrNeecie@DrNeecie.com and put “FREE WORKSHOP” in the subject line. I’ll send you an email with the details!
3. Relationships: Relearning Connection and Love
Trauma doesn’t only wound us …
it wounds how we connect and love.
When the nervous system has learned that closeness equals danger,
relationships become triggering.
It becomes just too uncomfortable.
I know you don’t want to deal with it.
You just want it to go away.
We all do!
But aren’t you tired of living that way?
Everybody who loves you is tired of it … so let’s do this!
People alternate between craving connection and pushing it away (like some kind of loaded gun, as I often describe it).
We get stuck in the hip hop dance of the trauma cycle of approach and avoid …
avoid and approach …
approach and avoid!
.
· Research reported in the Journal of Family Therapy in 2021 said that early or relational trauma predicts higher rates of attachment anxiety and avoidance. Clearly, this almost always leads to misunderstandings even in the most loving partnerships.
· Reports in Frontiers in Psychology in 2022 documented that trauma survivors show exaggerated amygdala reactions to even neutral facial expressions. This confirms that our brain’s danger detector is on high alert.
· Drs. John & Julie Gottman who released research results in 2021 observed that partners healing from trauma often need 5 times more positive interactions to rebuild trust as compared with non‑traumatized couples.
Trauma complicates every single layer of intimacy.
Verbal intimacy.
Physical intimacy.
Emotional intimacy.
These complications often cause:
-Shutdown during conflict
-Reactionary conversation
-Fear of vulnerability
-Cycles of withdrawal and/or leaving
The healing path is challenging.
But so worth it!
Practicing co‑regulation is a great way to begin this healing. What is that?
Being vulnerable and close for short periods of time with someone safe.
Learning to breathe through the discomfort.
Learning to know your needs.
Learning to ask for your needs to be met.
Learning to ask about and meet the needs of others.
Learning to express your feelings about these things without apology.
(DON’T YOU WANT TO CHANGE?!
Do you believe me when I tell you I know what to do?
We can change everything about your life … EVERYTHING!)
Healing relationships after trauma
isn’t about finding a perfect partner or friend.
It’s about creating and experiencing safe moments of closeness that teach the body new endings to old stories.
Happy endings!
Here is a link to get the steps to a coregulation exercise that you can practice with someone safe. (And two other ways to turbo-charge trauma healing): https://bit.ly/TurboChargeTraumaHealing
****
Healing trauma is not passive recovery.
It’s time to put on a construction zone hat
and begin the reconstruction process.
Staying passive or not taking intentional action
leaves trauma in charge of your life.
It silently defines your energy levels.
It toxifies your mindset.
It weakens the foundation of your relationships.
But intentional action puts you back
in charge of …
your life …
your relationships …
your future.
All of these healing exercises begin rewriting history at the cellular level.
Trauma messes up everything.
But with consistent, intentional action,
you can build something extraordinary.
A body buzzing with energy.
A mind that builds your life and edifies your gifts.
Relationships rich in love and connection.
Now that’s an abundant life!